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Extreme Rules 2009
No Holds Barred Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Rey Mysterio (©) VS. Chris Jericho
Jesse: Oh I bet Lonnie loves this match. And just in spite of Lonnie's love for the Los Angeles Lakers, I'm picking Rey to win. Take that Kobe Bryant.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Morgan: I truly have no emotional investment in this match. Because I don't follow SmackDown, Rey Mysterio is but a memory of my childhood. Which makes me wonder...Really he's still around? I really am not a fan of Jericho either. I can't even make this entertaining. I apologize. Jericho to win.
Winner: Chris Jericho
Andy: As much as I would love to pick Rey Mysterio to win this match to piss off another member of the group, I just can't do it. Chris Jericho needs this win badly to keep a lot of credibility. It's also about time for Jericho to win the Intercontinental Championship again. The last time he won the belt was more than a year ago in March 2008.
Winner: Chris Jericho
Devin: Rey Mysterio is a punk! He should not be Intercontinental Champ. Jericho makes a living beating on smaller, lesser opponents. I hate Rey Mysterio almost as much as Lonnie.
Winner: Chris Jericho
Jon: Jericho and Mysterio once again. Once again I have no idea. I know my good friend Lonnie will be taking Jericho because Lonnie is jealous of Mysterio's natural talent and amazing wrestling ability. This will probably be one of the longest matches of the night and it should be a good one. There is too much Mysterio will be able to do with all the weapons and what not. Although I would like to see Jericho vs. Morrison for the IC title, I feel if they wanted Jericho to have the belt he would have won at Judgment Day. He could also be getting ready to go back to the main event, title picture.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Lonnie: Before I start, I would just like to thank our two new participants. Now that they have joined there is no way that I will ever be near last place. Well based on my previous predictions, I think everyone can figure out who I am going to pick here. I do not see Jericho being on the Intercontinental Championship level but with Edge as the World Heavyweight Champion it is very unlikely that Jericho will challenge him. So, I can see him having a short reign with the Intercontinental Championship. It is about time the reigning Superstar of the Year returns to form.
Winner: Chris Jericho
John Bob: As I said last month, I think Chris Jericho is "above" the Intercontinental title. If Rey was serious when he said he wanted to become one of the best Intercontinental champions of all time, he needs to win this match and then continue to defend it against all challengers. Not to repeat myself but I also feel that Jericho doesn't need to win because he already holds the record for the most reigns with the title. Adding one more would only pad his record and I don't think that is necessary. Rey will get the win here and hopefully move on to a new challenger and Jericho can enter the main event picture again.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Samoan Strap Match
CM Punk VS. Umaga
Jesse: Oh Dear God, help us all.
Winner: CM Punk
Morgan: Big guy strapped to little guy. Logic says, big guy wins. I do believe the one with the bigger strap on will win. Sorry gutter humor. CM Punk hasn't exactly had the greatest record when it comes to pay-per-views recently. I mean losing to Kane...What more do I have to say. He won at Judgment Day, my logic says he'll do it again.
Winner: Umaga
Andy: As long as CM Punk has the power to cash in the Money in the Bank opportunity he won't be losing many matches like this one. In addition, how can you pick a man whose name in Samoan means "shriveled-up monkey penis" to win a match any day of the week?
Winner: CM Punk
Devin: Last time I said CM Punk would need a weapon to beat Umaga and now he can use one. Therefore, I'm picking Punk.
Winner: CM Punk
Jon: What the heck is the WWE doing with CM Punk? I have no idea with this one. He should have beat 2 mid card guys but lost to them both...and one was in his hometown. On SmackDown he beat Umaga which makes me think Umaga will pick up the victory here. I don't care though. I still say the WWE needs to keep Punk credible by giving him a victory on a pay-per-view. CM Punk could very well cash in on this night after the ladder match.
Winner: CM Punk
Lonnie: After defeating CM Punk last month, Umaga gets to face him again and this time it is in Umaga's own match. This puts everything in Umaga's corner, but Punk did get a win over Umaga on SmackDown. While I do think the stipulation of the match favors Umaga, I think CM Punk will pick up the win. Punk has lost the last few events and will right the ship in this match.
Winner: CM Punk
John Bob: Well here we go again. It seems as though no matter what argument I present on Punk's behalf, he still ends up losing each time. However, I stand by my thought that he needs to start winning pay-per-view matches in order to build up his credibility for when he cashes in the briefcase. Umaga got the win at Judgment Day and Punk just won on SmackDown. Therefore, they are even at one win a piece. So this may be the last match before both men move on to new feuds. Maybe you could say I haven't learned my lesson, but I'm going to go with CM Punk even though he has lost everytime I've picked him.
Winner: CM Punk
Fatal Four Way Match for the WWE United States Championship
Montel Vontavious Porter VS. William Regal VS. Kofi Kingston (©) VS. Matt Hardy
Jesse: Why couldn't they have an old timer fight on the card of Regal vs. Dreamer? I guess a guy can dream can't he? Should be an interesting match, I really want to see how well Kofi will shine in this match. Plus, Kofi can jump really high.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Morgan: Going with Montel Vonatavious Porter. I am actually fond of Kofi Kingston as well, but I have to give MVP the upper hand here. William Regal annoys me, and I have never really liked either of the Hardy brothers. No logic involved here.
Winner: Montel Vontavious Porter
Andy: I think the days of MVP as a second-tier champion are over since he has been moved to Raw and just lost the title. It only makes sense that the remaining American wrestler will win the United States Championship, but he won't. In my upset of the night I got William Regal picking up the pin on Kofi Kingston.
Winner: William Regal
Devin: I got to go with Kofi Kingston because he just won the belt. Why is Regal in this match since he is not American? No offense to Morgan but Layla needs to lose Regal and come be with me.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Jon: By losing the United States title last Monday night, MVP has officially passed the mid card title along. He will soon be in the upper card matches which I cannot wait to see. I don't see why Kofi would win it last Monday only to lose it 6 days later. Kofi is a young, upcoming talent that has gotten over with the fans really well. Regal and Hardy have both been around a while and don't need the title. Hopefully we will get to see more MVP and Kofi during the match after coming off that great match on Raw. Kofi wins.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Lonnie: I love the booking that has been going on with the United States Championship. This match was thrown together at the last moment but it makes perfect sense. Kingston and MVP had a stellar match on Raw and Regal and Hardy helped Vickie to earn a favor from her. I do not think the WWE would have three different champions in one week which leads me to believe only Kofi and MVP have a chance here. If MVP was meant to have the belt they would have let him keep it on Raw and would not have interrupted his long reign. Therefore Kofi should keep his title here and feud with either Hardy or Regal this summer.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
John Bob: First, I must say I'm very happy that there is a United States title match on pay-per-view! The belt hasn't been defended on pay-per-view since Great American Bash last July! Anyways, I like the way the WWE has been trying to build the midcard on Raw. Kofi and MVP had a fantastic match last Monday. By losing the title, one can only hope that MVP is going to enter the WWE title picture. Which is a good thing if you ask me. It will nice to have a fresh face enter compete for the WWE title. Back to the United States title, it would seem as though Kofi needs to keep the belt here as it wouldn't make since to have him only hold it for six days. After this match, he can have a one-on-one feud with either Regal or Hardy. Kofi has built a nice resume over the last year by holding the Intercontinental title and World Tag Team titles with CM Punk. Having a good run with United States title will only help elevate him to bigger things. I expect Kofi to retain in a match that has potential to be pretty good.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Hog Pen Match for the crown of "Miss WrestleMania"
Vickie Guerrero (©) VS. Santina Marella
Jesse: MATCH OF THE YEAR!!! This should be a good one ladies and gentlemen. And I guarantee it won't disappoint like my Cleveland Cavaliers. (Which I'm still pissed about, so let me start my rant in the middle of my explanation of this amazing match. I am now convinced that Cleveland is cursed. There is no way that a city can have so many heartbreaks. On the bright side, at least we still have Drew Carey.) Ok back to the regular scheduled program. Rule of thumb is you never pick against Santina.
Winner: Santina Marella
Morgan: Like many individuals, I completely despise Vickie Guerrero. Well not as much as Orton, but that is a different story. As much as I want to slap myself for this, Vickie is going to win. Not by her own talent, because we all know she has none whatsoever. In fact, just hearing her speak makes me mute my TV and walk away. Honestly, her voice angers me. It makes me want to gouge my ears out, it's not like anything that she says is worth listening to anyways. In fact, I can almost guarantee that even if I was able to watch Extreme Rules, I wouldn't watch this match. I really wish I could say that she was going to lose to Santina. In all reality, I really wouldn't care who won if it meant that she would close that annoying hole she has for a mouth, but again I know it's not going to happen. Vickie Guerrero is going to win. Although I can hope...
Winner: Vickie Guerrero
Andy: Toss-Up Match of the Night: Heads-Santina Marella, Tails-Vickie Guerrero. It's heads.
Winner: Santina Marella
Devin: This is the most disappointing match of the night! Nobody is going to wave back to Vickie after she wins and nor should they. Hopefully Eddie doesn't roll over in his grave.
Winner: Vickie Guerrero
Jon: Okay, I would like to first say I could care less about this. Bathroom break and a new Mountain Dew is all this is good for. Vickie has gotten the better of Santina the past couple weeks. The only thing is Chavo can help Vickie but Santino can't help Santina cuz...ready for it...Santino is Santina. While I think Santino in women's clothes is pretty nasty, I do agree about Vickie being a little piggish. Santina in a match for the ages.
Winner: Santina Marella
Lonnie: I love Santino as he is absolutely hilarious, but I HATE the Santina gimmick so much. It was funny for a week or so but that should have been it. I can see Vickie meeting the other pigs after the match, but I think she will win the match. If Vickie wins, Santino can move onto something else and the Santina gimmick can end finally.
Winner: Vickie Guerrero
John Bob: WOW! This is not going to be pretty. Not to mention, I could care less who wins. As much as I love Santino, Vickie needs to win here so Santino can move on to something else. By having Santino win, they will have to drag this out longer and I definitely don't want that. Vickie will win thanks to some help (probably from Chavo). However, I wouldn't be suprised if Vickie gets the opportunity to spend some time with her friends in the pen after the match.
Winner: Vickie Guerrero
Triple Threat Hardcore Match for the ECW Championship
Christian (©) VS. Jack Swagger VS. Tommy Dreamer
Jesse: Tommy Dreamer is still around? And how many times can we see Jack Swagger vs. Christian? Come on WWE, I'm still waiting for Christian vs. Edge.
Winner: Christian
Morgan: Christian. The only way Tommy Dreamer has a chance of winning is if he can pin Jack Swagger, but Christian won't allow that. I mean there is a remote chance that Tommy Dreamer will win in order to not have a forced retirement. Beyond that faint glimmer of hope for Dreamer, not so much. Jack Swagger has never really impressed me. He's annoying. Christian will retain.
Winner: Christian
Andy: I really don't know, and I can't flip a coin because there are three contenders.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Devin: Tommy Dreamer needs to retire and shouldn't wrestle ever again. I don't even know why he still has a contract. Jack Swagger is too dumb to win this match. He is the All-American American Idiot! Word up to all my peeps!
Winner: Christian
Jon: On ECW, Tommy Dreamer won a match. He acted like he had just won the Super Bowl. He beat Paul Burchill folks. Does he really deserve to carry the ECW belt? He also gave his little good bye speech. A couple weeks ago he was getting squashed by Mark Henry. Sure, Dreamer is the only original left, but that doesn't mean anything except that he has stuck around longer than the mighty Stevie Richards and the ripped, chiseled Sandman. Also, who still uses a normal DDT as a finisher? As a proud member of the Peepulation, I would love to see Christian pin Dreamer in this one. Christian is one of the best things the WWE has going and is the only reason I watch ECW each week. The only good thing about Christian losing the belt is it probably means he is going to SmackDown to feud with Edge. Maybe not yet though, Christian wins.
Winner: Christian
Lonnie: This should be a very entertaining match due to the hardcore stipulation. I can see a lot of weapons in this match which should bail out Tommy. Swagger and Christian can wrestle, but Tommy needs the hardcore rule to have any chance of winning. Due to his contract being up the winner will be Tommy Drea.......I just can't do it! I guess Swagger could win and continue to fight Christian, but if Christian wins he can fight Swagger, Kozlov, or the Hart Dynasty. Due to him having more potential opponents......
Winner: Christian
John Bob: This match is interesting because I think any of the three men could win. I could see Swagger winning the belt by picking up a pin over Tommy. This would let him win the title without pinning Christian. Plus, Jack would be able to brag about being the one that sent Dreamer packing. Dreamer could win as a big send off and then they could have a tournament to crown a new champ once Tommy vacates the title. While both of them have reasons why they could win, I don't see either man winning. I just can't bring myself to pick Tommy Dreamer to win a pay-per-view match. Christian is the best thing going on ECW right now and I think it would be foolish to take the belt off of him. Since the ECW brand has more heels than faces, keeping the title on Christian gives the WWE more options for feuds further down the road. I think we are destined to eventually see Christian vs. Kozlov even though Kozlov should be no where near any title. In the end, Christian needs to win because he has the most potential match-ups down the road.
Winner: Christian
Submission Match
John Cena VS. Big Show
Jesse: I bet this damn match ends with the STFU (or whatever they are calling it now). Dumb Dumb Dumb!!
Winner: John Cena
Morgan: John Cena is going to win this. Big show has a horrible history at pay-per-views. The only logical choice is Cena. Maybe after this Big Show will give it up, realize that Cena is better, and we will see a new match at the next pay-per-view. Though this match has been repeated many a time, it should still be entertaining.
Winner: John Cena
Andy: The buildup has led us to believe that the Big Show is "too big" for John Cena to make him tap out. But as we all know, the Big Slow is meant lose pay-per-view matches (33% winning percentage) and John Cena is meant to win pay-per-view matches (68% winning percentage). John Cena wins easily in the main face victory of the night.
Winner: John Cena
Devin: I bet on Big Show last time and he didn't come through. Cena will pass out before he submits so Big Show is going to lose.
Winner: John Cena
Jon: Okay, John Cena can and will lock in the STFU on the Big Show. Cena beat The Great Khali with it at Judgment Day '07. Cena has been put back in the title push in recent weeks and won't lose to a guy that should feel honored to get beat by Cena 2 pay-per-views in a row. This match could get bad. Cena will have to carry Show for the good part of it. Maybe some Miz involvement as well. Cena locks in the STFU and makes the Big Show tap.
Winner: John Cena
Lonnie: Even though Cena got a clean win over Big Show at Judgment Day this feud had to continue. This is the same formula as last month with Show beating Cena down and making the odds seem so against Cena. Last month Cena couldn't move and now he can't lock in his submission. Well folks, it may take ten or so tries but Cena WILL lock in the STF and get Show to tap. You can count on that.
Winner: John Cena
John Bob: I'm really hoping that this match is short. I thought their Judgment Day match was boring and I think this one will be boring to if they drag it out too long. The WWE has tried to make the fans think that Cena cannot put Big Show in the STF. Let me tell you something folks. Cena is going to put the Big Show in the STF. More importantly, Big Show is going to tap out. This feud cannot go on any longer. Therefore, Cena needs to win so both guys can move on. I'd like to see Cena have a feud with The Miz after this as I think it deserves to be built towards a pay-per-view match at The Bash. But who knows? They may just end that on Raw instead of making a whole feud out of it. Cena beats Big Show and moves on to better things while Big Show may not even be on the next few pay-per-views after losing.
Winner: John Cena
Ladder Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Jeff Hardy VS. Edge (©)
Jesse: This kind of sucks, why couldn't we see one more Matt and Jeff match? Oh well, should be match of the night by far. But there is no way Jeff is going to win.
Winner: Edge
Morgan: Another match that I really have no interest in, yay. I wonder if we've seen this before. Although Jeff Hardy has two things going for him, a common last name with JJ Hardy, the one armed bobble head of my dorm room, (definitely from a team far greater than the Reds), he is also apparently decent with ladders. But, I have never liked him and his ladder match with his equally subpar and whiney brother. Edge has never been a favorite. So I guess I go with who I dislike the least.
Winner: Edge
Andy: Haven't I seen Jeff Hardy in a match like this a long time ago? Lets flashback to 2002: Jeff Hardy receives a beat down from the Undertaker in a Ladder Match for the Undisputed Championship. Although I expect this match to be a lot closer, the end result will still be the same. Edge picks up the victory in Jeff's trademark match.
Winner: Edge
Devin: This match was made because Jeff Hardy specializes in ladder matches. But, Edge has more experience in extreme matches than Jeff. I've said this before but Jeff Hardy should never be a world champion.
Winner: Edge
Jon: These two should steal the show again. Everyone talks about what success Hardy has in Ladder matches. Edge has had far more success in ladder matches than Hardy has. Edge "retired" the Undertaker in a Ladder or TLC match. Perhaps Matt Hardy gets involved in this one again. I hope Edge is able to pull it out so we get the smug, cocky segment from him on the next SmackDown. Those are great. Edge wins in the best match of the night.
Winner: Edge
Lonnie: Finally, after several months of the champion only holding the title for one month Edge was able to retain last month. This happens to be Jeff Hardy's match and he just resigned with the company so it is very possible that they would trust him to win the championship. Unfortunately I don't trust Jeff. I think the wise move would have Edge retain to help bring some legitimacy back to the World Heavyweight Championship. I am not sure who Edge would fight next, so I may be wrong on this one.
Winner: Edge
John Bob: This is the hardest match for me to predict and definitely the one that I'm most unsure about. I've given it a lot of thought and I think I have to go with the upset. That's right. I think Jeff Hardy is going to pull out all stops to become the champ. Now I know Edge just won the belt at Backlash in April, but when has Edge ever had a long reign with a world title? His longest reign has been just over three months. All that aside, the main reason why I'm picking Jeff is because of potential feuds when this one is over. If Edge stays champ, who is he going to defend the belt against next? Jeff shouldn't get another rematch, CM Punk isn't ready yet, Undertaker is on the shelf, Rey already has the Intercontinental title, and Jericho is a heel and I doubt they would do heel vs. heel for the belt. For this reason, I see Jeff winning the belt and Edge getting his rematch at the next pay-per-view. After that, I would personally like to see a feud between Jeff and Jericho for the rest of the summer with the title on the line. I think those would be some good matches. So, I know it's a gamble but I think Jeff Hardy will be leaving Extreme Rules as the new champ.
Winner: Jeff Hardy
Steel Cage Match for the WWE Championship
Randy Orton (©) VS. Batista
Jesse: Orton actually held the belt for over a month, good for him. But this should hopefully be a decent match as long as Orton doesn't fall off the top of the cage and break his shoulder. Let's hope for an exciting finish to the match.
Winner: Randy Orton
Morgan: Now the fun match. I HATE Orton. He irks every bone in my body. This big hotshot acts like the world is lucky to be graced with his presence. Well newsflash, Orton isn't anything without his little butt buddies, Legacy, to come to the rescue when, as per usual, Orton gets himself in a jam. I am excited for this match. I wish I could see it. As for being the Secretariat of the wrestling world, no John, never, he won't ever come close. To begin with, in order to even get the title of Point Given (racehorse references here), Orton is going to have to grow up, get a pair, and learn to deal with things by himself. This is Batista's chance to shine, and shine he will. Unless Legacy develops brains and get extraordinarily creative. For their standards, these subpar Orton cookie cut-outs will have to simply observe as their precious Randy Orton gets "broken in half". I actually feel bad for Orton, never mind, I lied. I can't wait. The only way Orton can win is with the help of his little minions, and even then he isn't impressive, so I am curious to see just how amazing this match will be for Batista. John, when Batista proves my point, please don't cry too hard. Just enough for it to be humorous, any more and it just gets weird. Oh and get used to writing Batista (Champ). One last side note, I really think that Cody Rhodes ought to really be in a rainbow jumpsuit or maybe just go back to the half polka dots and half gold...Either would just fit the situation better.
Winner: Batista
Andy: I can't see this match ending with a pin, submission, or escape through the door. This leaves the only possibility of a contender climbing out of the cage. Batista's old, overweight, and goofy ass couldn't climb a cage if his life depended on it. Orton wins in the main heel victory of the night, maybe even cleanly, by climbing out of the cage.
Winner: Randy Orton
Devin: In your face John! Orton cannot run for the hills this time. The McMahons will finally get their revenge. Never take on a wild animal in a cage. Up yours John!
Winner: Batista
Jon: Orton will win again this evening. There is so much they can do with Orton. He could face Cena, MVP, and Triple H once he returns. Batista is over with the fans which makes sense for the WWE to keep him the title picture. I, however, think him and Cena should swap places, which they probably will after this pay-per-view. I'm looking forward to seeing how Orton will pull it off; he has most definitely grown on me. So from now on, unless he is fighting Christian or Cena, Go Orton!
Winner: Randy Orton
Lonnie: Before I start, did anyone else see Cody Rhodes not get a single move off against Batista on Monday? I know Batista is supposed to dominate but that is too much. If Cody and Ted (who also has looked weak lately except on Superstars vs. Cena) are that bad then why do the 3-on-1 Legacy attacks work so well? It's because Randy Orton is that damn good!!! And Batista is about to find that out this Sunday when Orton beats him. Batista will have no excuses this time as it is the match he wanted to keep others out of the match. (If Legacy climbs over the top it is not Orton's fault the match is not Hell in a cell) Orton is going to win here by falling out of the cage just before Batista so that Orton can move on to a real opponent who does not cry about everything such as MVP, HHH, or HBK.
Winner: Randy Orton
John Bob: There is absolutely no way that Batista will win this match. I'm really looking forward to this match because after this night is over and Orton defeats Batista, there isn't going to be any excuses. Batista won't have anything to complain about. The reason this is so great is because I don't want to see Batista wrestle for the title again. He just isn't very good in the ring anymore and he gets winded after wrestling for five minutes. Batista just isn't in Orton's league. Plus, think of all the people that Orton can feud with after he wins. He could face Cena, Triple H, MVP, or Shawn Michaels when he comes back. I can't even think of anybody that Batista could face and have a watchable match against. The bottom line is Orton is going to win and move on to better things because lets face it...Batista isn't too smart. He couldn't even figure out how to get in the cage to help Ric Flair. When all is said and done, the Age of Orton will continue and we just have to learn to accept it because this one man dynasty isn't going anywhere.
Winner: Randy Orton
| Standings | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Name | # Correct | # Possible | Overall Correct | Overall Possible | Percentage |
| Jesse | 4 | 8 | 12 | 29 | 41% |
| Morgan | 3 | 8 | 3 | 8 | 38% |
| Andy | 4 | 8 | 4 | 8 | 50% |
| Devin | 5 | 8 | 16 | 29 | 55% |
| Jon | 4 | 8 | 16 | 29 | 55% |
| Lonnie | 4 | 8 | 14 | 29 | 48% |
| John Bob | 4 | 8 | 13 | 29 | 45% |
Be sure to join us next time when we give Our 3 Cents about The Bash.